REFINE

The Cost of the Cross: Releasing What You Love To Fully Pursue Christ

• Buli Makhubo • Season 1 • Episode 8

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Following Christ demands more than aesthetic Christianity; it requires the difficult journey of allowing Jesus to be not just our Savior but the Lord of our entire life.

• Praise Mwelase  shares her background growing up in a Christian household and her path to the entertainment industry
• The difference between acknowledging Jesus as Savior versus surrendering to Him as Lord
• How career success and good relationships can still leave us feeling spiritually "stuck"
• Finding true identity through difficult obedience and letting go of good things
• The challenge of yielding completely to God when it means releasing something you love
• Learning to trust God's heart even when His direction seems confusing
• Understanding that Christ Himself is the prize, not just the blessings He provides
• The clarity and peace that comes after choosing obedience despite the cost

When you know God's heart and His character, even when difficult things happen, you remain confident in His presence and purpose. Spend time with Him, know the Bible, and understand His character—then you won't be moved by anything.


Thank you for tuning in beloveds. Don’t forget to comment , rate the podcast and share .

Watch the Podcast here: https://youtube.com/@bulimakhubo?si=Whq1AiPP_Big4hyr

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Speaker 2:

yeah so we give you glory, honor and praise in the mighty name of jesus amen amen, yes, thank you following christ is not the easy breezy christianity.

Speaker 2:

We've made it today. You know we've made it and narrowed christ down to aesthetic. You know we've gone to the altar call. We make the decision and say you are lord and savior of my life, but in actual fact, the only thing that we're agreeing to is that jesus is savior. What happens after that is the process of allowing him to be lord, and that is what we're going to be talking about today. Uh, life lived in knowing who god is, but what I, as an outsider, have come to see, someone now truly know and is still getting to know christ, yeah, as her lord and not only savior. So welcome to today's episode of refine my brain oh, my god, that's good, that's so good.

Speaker 1:

Thank you for having me. I'm good. You're right. Yes, you, are you getting there? I'm behind. I'm in front of the camera now. I'm usually behind producer p.

Speaker 2:

While we're there, I usually like full guests to introduce themselves. So introduce us. And the reason why I do it is because I think sometimes we like to hold on to certain things, but I love for guests to just explain and introduce themselves based on where they are right now in their lives. Oh girl, Okay, praise.

Speaker 1:

I have a new title now, which is founder Okay, until all are found. Oh, oh god, you did something there. Um, founder of until all I found. I am also a child of god, first of all. Child of god. Uh, yeah, I'm a producer. It's what I do mostly because you stage manage. I work a lot in the industry with a lot of celebrities, so I'm literally always exposed in both worlds. Oh, you get all things. Yeah, I'm just like hey man, a happy child of God who loves life, love life so much. That's amazing. And yeah, that's just me. I'm really a simple person, hey.

Speaker 2:

So how did you grow up? Have you always grown up in a Christian household?

Speaker 1:

yeah, so I grew up in church, like literally that has been my life. My family is Christian, um my mother's side of the family, mostly because I grew up um close with them. And then, yeah, and I'm very close with, like, my pastors. I'm very like one thing about me I am so close with pastoral families, like even now friendship. I can see that I've seen that yeah people actually assume that I was a PK.

Speaker 1:

I'm like, no, I'm not a PK, but just growing up I was close to with my pastor's family, like they are my family, literally, um, yeah, so in the same church for a very long time, literally at home. I've been in the same church still, even now, that's yeah, I haven't. So when I moved here to Joburg it was a challenge finding a church, because at home it's like churches here and at home are different. I come from Red Bank. I was about to ask yeah, I come from Red Bank, a very small city, so churches they're very traditional, like there's no start and end time. Okay, there is a start time.

Speaker 2:

But the end time is.

Speaker 1:

No, no, no, it depends Also. We just do things, but yeah, we start. If you're not at church at 10.30, you have missed something. 11 were done literally when I called my parents, they're still at church and I'm like your son, I got in at 11 and I'm out at one. You're still there. So I grew up in church. That's, that's just me. Christ is who I know.

Speaker 2:

Yeah so you're from growing up in church, how did? And growing up in your life, how did you become producer P what? What put you in that state like, is it always something that you've wanted to do? Study is, is it something that you fell into?

Speaker 1:

I've always wanted to be an actor. Really, funny enough, yes, so my dad actually is very dramatic. Okay, my dad is like if my dad grew up in Joburg, he'd probably be like one of the greatest theater actors in this world, literally. So he used to do that. I don't know what happened, we just have pictures, so I guess that comes from him. My dad has this amazing character.

Speaker 1:

So, just growing up, me being around him, how we always used to watch, like uh, movies, and that just came, the interaction I had with him when, so that was like our connection, right. So from that I was just like man, I want to do this, like I'm gonna act, I want to be in the space, I wanted to do theater, I wanted to do Broadway, like I wanted to go to New York. Let me tell you, new York was. I was like I'm going to New York. Everyone knew, everyone knew from it like praise, not like that, like school, she's going to New York's because that's what I actually loved, um, and then I came to Joburg. When I came to Joburg, it reminded me an actor. Still, I knew it. Then I went to school. After got to, after I did live performance, I didn't enjoy it really no, I was just like I'm gonna be breathing, doing breathing exercises and now, like the expectation, the reality yeah, yeah, yeah no, no, I was just like okay.

Speaker 1:

Then I started um shadowing because, yeah, so I started like just trying to find people in the industry and I dm'd them and I was like, hey, can I come shadow? I remember I showed up the river, yeah. So I was like I dm I can't remember. I think I dm'd Zolani, if I'm not mistaken okay, with a director, and I dm'd and I was like, hi, I'm praise, new to your work doing my first year and after I don't feel like I'm getting so much experience the way I would like to um, can I come and shadow the river? And then they were like, yeah, then I went there and then they also put me on to be a bridesmaid and I was like, you know, I actually don't want to act. I love what you guys are doing the producing, the directing, the being busy, like asking people, stuff and all of that. I love that. So then that's where my love for producing came um. And then I also then dmc boo during covid, yeah, okay, I dmc was like, hey, I am praised. And I started posting her just to get attention. I'd repost and repost and repost and she's like this girl, this girl.

Speaker 1:

And then I started doing music videos with tadad. Let me tell you, really, I was just everywhere. Like for me to be where I am right now is because I was literally like experimenting every aspect of being in the media, like producing, directing, acting arts, design, every single thing, and I was not afraid to actually reach out to the people and be like, hey, can I please come and learn? So with Sibu, when COVID hit, I was working um, we did amstel and then I was, uh, producing with tad. Then sibu called me and she's like hey, don't you want to come and intern? I said, yes, I am coming to intern. I was doing my second year at fda. It was during covid, so I was like girl, I am coming. So since there, I feel like that's where it all started, because she exposed me to a lot of people and a lot of things, yeah, and my love for events then came from there that in and of itself is a story like take what, take what you want.

Speaker 2:

I am trying to summarize like the no, but take what you want from that, because for those who have ears, they would probably hear that okay, it's not always that you know. You're going to sit and say okay, lord, I'm going to need someone to knock at my door, but you knocked and you knocked and you and it's what people take for granted serving just saying, yeah, I'm going to serve, I'm going to do what it takes. Don't pay me if anything. Um, don't pay me if at all at the beginning.

Speaker 1:

Yes, I feel like if you're at the beginning and if you're in this industry I don't know much about other industries, but I know that, especially if you're in this industry, it is so important for you to knock, it is so important for you to reach out. If you do a podcast and you see that your bully is doing well, you're like hey, can I just come sit, I just want to sit and see what's happening and from there we see your skill. From there, there, we're like do you want to come back next week? Someone notices you. Then you get paid. It's just knock, knock, reach out, don't be scared.

Speaker 2:

Oh, don't be scared to me, I just love your audacity. I don't want to lie, I'm not even, just I love your audacity. So you then become producer p and you, you, in the industry, number one. There's a lot going on. You're still yes, I'm a child of God, I grew up like this, but then there's a part where you collide with the cross, you know, and you encounter Jesus for yourself. When was that and what did it look like? And what does it look like? What did and what does conviction look like? Because, again, like I said, for me to notice a shift was because this time it was different, yeah, yeah. So what did your? What was your conviction If you can share, but and what did conviction look like? What was your collision with Jesus? What did that look like?

Speaker 1:

Um, conviction. Look like. What was your collision of Jesus? What did that look like? Um, hmm, I can't pinpoint to a moment where I felt convicted to just pay attention to the, to the things I, or to the jobs I take, because, to be honest with you, um my whole life, I've always tried to be disciplined. I've always tried to stick to who I am like, who I grew up to be, grew up to being, um, just like values. I've just always tried to keep that. But obviously, because of the industry I'm in, you do get there's a binge there is.

Speaker 1:

There is, I won't lie to you, no, I get you. Um. A moment I can think of was when I got a role to be on netflix and at that time and it was like a dandil, okay, and um, that they're like praise, you fit the role. But the character is a lady who owns a club and basically, like I bring girls to the club and they do like the. The brief was not that great, right, but I mean it was a character, okay, it was just a character, yeah. So now I'll call like my dad, I call my friend nusisa and I called I don't like where this is going. And then I called I just called like a few people about the role. I was like, hey, here's a role I got. And at that time I won't lie to you I was actually this is a good example I was stuck. So this was 2023, early in Vienna. I was stuck actually. So before I was, literally I was booked doing events. Casper came, reverend Benjamin Dewitt came yes, um, that's where.

Speaker 2:

I actually first knew about you.

Speaker 1:

But yeah, yes, no, like no, let me see you, yeah moving, yeah, booked, from being a producer to being a stage manager, booked, booked, booked. Relationship wise, I wasn't in like a serious relationship then, but then I was just like getting to know people. I think that's where I actually got the biggest conviction in my life, like in terms of dating and knowing people. Um, I would just like go on dates, get to know you, uh, okay, no, it's fine. And then I get to know other people like it was just a. My life was just a mess. And then I quit my job at Duma Collective, which was stable for me. I quit my job and I was just like, why did I quit? I was like I am moving. I was like praise is getting booked, okay.

Speaker 1:

And then I got stuck. And then I had heartbreak, got a heartbreak from someone that amazing two months. Listen, if I said, if God said what relationship do you want, then I'd be like that one Really Amazing, amazing, okay, broke my heart. Then I was just like what is happening? And then that moment I was stuck and I got into a relationship which was the relationship I was in At that time. When I got into the moment I was stuck and I got into a relationship which was the relationship I was in At that time. When I got into the relationship I don't think I was thinking straight, I think I was it came felt like comfort, it felt like everything I needed at that time. A very supportive partner like very supportive partner was there At that time. Even when we started um talking, I would vent and tell him like what I'm going through, and then he was there literally, which is what I needed.

Speaker 1:

And then after that, I got the role and I was just like okay, I'm gonna do it. And he was like no, you're not gonna do it. Um, and then I was like why is he against this? Like boy, I'm going to do this. And he was like no, it doesn't fit like your role, it doesn't fit who you are. And I said this boy lying.

Speaker 1:

I spoke to my parents, I spoke to everyone and everyone was for it. And then at that time I was just like I need to choose, like I actually now need to choose. Do I actually want to be an actor? And if I am going to be an actor, am I willing to take this role? And I was just like no, I'm not. And also, being an actor, I'm not an actor. I made the decision that I don't want to be an actor, sure Right. And then I was just like, okay, what is happening with my life? I think at that time then I started evaluating and just looking at my life and my decisions and, dear Lord, yeah, that time everything became so clear, even the relationship.

Speaker 2:

even the relationship became very clear to say but that, so that's 2023 where you feel stuck. Yes, you're stuck.

Speaker 1:

I felt stuck, felt like my everything was just all over the place. Everything was all over the place I was, things were coming in and they looked good. They looked very good. But I don't think if I took most of those things then people would still be convinced about the God that I serve right now. Because I feel like I'd still be trying to convince people of my identity in Christ, because we we can as a as a Christian person. It's so easy for us to do some stuff, come back and say, oh, I didn't know better, oh, whatnot, whatnot. But I feel like the mental that was upon my life or is upon my life is so heavy bully I don't even understand it myself and it's unfolding now. So I'm just glad that at that time. I can't tell you what the conviction was, but there's certain things that happened that challenged me and I just had to husa.

Speaker 2:

So you say the identity, I guess your identity, what you knew to be identity, was being challenged. And, funnily enough, we were having a conversation previously with the previous guest where we were talking heavily about identity and the critical role it plays really in our relationship with the Lord. How did your identity begin to change? Were you asking yourself questions? Were you evaluating or taking stock of your life? Were you beginning to see what doesn't align with you? What did that look like? Because obviously, for it to affect everything else, you have to come to some sort of a realization of who God says you are, yeah, and then you move forward with who he says you are and adjust everything else in your life to align. So what did that identity shift look like? If you could share a few things, I didn't know who I was.

Speaker 1:

To be honest with you, I didn't know who I was most of my 2023, the whole year to probably last year or this year. Jan feels blank, really, yeah, like it feels. It feels blank. It feels like, literally like, and I, I know, I know that that this shift happened literally 2022, around December-ish, to getting into Jan, um, I didn't. I, yes, I was moving, yes, I was doing things. Yes, things were happening, but deep down, I wasn't content. I didn't know exactly what was happening. Like I wasn't.

Speaker 1:

I was craving to know that praise from 2018, before she moved, wow, like I was. Like that girl was on fire for jesus. Nothing move her. Like I had so much conviction. You could tell me you could be like praise, let's go to the club. I'd be like, nah, I'm good, I'm good.

Speaker 1:

And if it's like praise, people get tattoos. And I'd be like, why would you get a tattoo? Why would you get a tattoo? Right now, I have tattoos. I can't.

Speaker 1:

I don't regret having my tattoos, but if I would remove them, I would sure and I'm not saying because they're wrong, yeah, it's just the conviction, it's just not just. I don't even want to say it's a conviction, but it's just something that I know. Like, if I had to make that decision again, I wouldn't get them. I see, okay, you're right, I wouldn't get them. I don't feel like explaining, I'm just tired of explaining, oh, but you have to do this. Like you know, I didn't. That's why I'm saying that, like, yeah, most of the things that I did during 2023, 2024 were very blank and I it's not, I was, it was not demonic or anything. It was just you were just not my yes, I was just not me. I see, and I was trying to figure out who I am and I don't want to lie to you, I was trying to figure out who I am in this culture in joelberg.

Speaker 1:

It's very dangerous because you can easily lose yourself, but, luckily, because of still knowing and still going back to Christ every day, one thing I know for sure that I never lost was going back and asking God what is happening, help me. But one thing that I noticed is that God won't just like take you out of something, just like that to say, oh, you see that you've stumbled, okay, let me get you out tomorrow. You're back on track. No, like you have to go through things. Really, you have to literally experience every single thing, like god has to prune you, god has to refine you, those mistakes, whether they're exposed or not exposed, and praise the lord.

Speaker 1:

Most of the things that I did were not exposed, and I'm not saying that they were dramatic, trust me. But it's just like things like what example can I make, I don't know? Like things like staying with your partner, I was staying with my partner. That's not right. Like, to be honest with you, I wouldn't advise it, right, but somehow it wasn't. Like I wouldn't get right, but somehow it wasn't. Like I wouldn't get like backlash to say, oh, you're staying with your partner.

Speaker 1:

Delete like those comments like, oh, you're staying with your partner like, hey, don't ask me, don't ask me, things like, why are you asking me? But also, it's just like it's if, if someone, if you know that there's a young girl looking at you, unfortunately for you. Your life has to be perfect. You're not too perfect, but like you have to be aware of the things that you do, that you do. So I feel like God literally like worked on my identity in the most beautiful way possible and I'm glad that I didn't like conform to the standards that were set in front of me. Um, right now where I am, for me to even start, like until all I found, I literally was like, if you can go back to my post, this fasting thing is not like new.

Speaker 1:

When I, when I moved here, I posted on my twitter, posted everywhere, like guys, let's fast together. And when I look back, I'm like there's a hundred, like 150 something, comments of people saying come, let's do it, let's do it, let's do it. And I was just doing it blindly with them. And then, when I made the decision to say you know what, I am not going to compromise on who I am like I'm so, guys, god is so like he was so gracious to me that even when I felt like I was making mistakes, even when I felt like I was not a perfect Christian, he still made all things perfect for me, like honestly. He still made them so perfect that I can still come back and be like okay, I'm starting again and I'm starting afresh. Now. That's where I am, like I guess finding identity in Christ is literally spending so much time with him and being so honest about where you are, how you feel, what you're going through, like those mistakes that you make.

Speaker 1:

Try not to be like, oh God, why would I go through that? Like why? But like, just try to find what he's doing in you. That's good. Like just try find what he's doing in you. That's good. Like, just try, I like that Because, trust me, two years later you'd be like sharp. I know I went through that. Yeah, I know I went through. I was just telling you right now that like I feel like my relationship being public was for a reason. Yeah, it was for a reason, and God spoke to me most of the times when I was in the relationship and I could have left it earlier, but I was in obedience and it ended up hurting someone else. So sometimes your disobedience literally hurts other people. So like people ask me oh, what happened? You know how we can all assume something went wrong.

Speaker 2:

I'm like nothing, literally nothing. So maybe that's the we can segue into that. So God is working on you now. Right, I do remember that you started and I think you did at the Duma Collective offices where you were worshipping and fasting in the beginning of the year. So now you are, now I could see then that, okay, there's something. I could see then that, okay, there's something I didn't know, praise could put together things and you know and fast and pray and lead this Okay, I'm someone who's watching, but at the same time, like you have shared then, at that time you were living with your then partner and then Christ obviously now begins to work in you. Right, what did that yielding look like? What was your conversation?

Speaker 1:

with.

Speaker 2:

God first of all, for him to say there are things that, when you are in me, you're going to have to release, you're going to have to step into obedience, you are going to have to yield because you maybe you were not obeying before. You thought you could have your cake and eat it. Sometimes, following Christ means I'm leaving my net. No, literally, I'm a fisherman. You leave all of it behind and then you take up your cross, and that was one of the things that you had to come into. The reason why I'm asking is because people assume that, being a child of God, you can just. It's aesthetic, it's just. Christ is a brand that you can associate yourself with. He's not. He takes over your life completely, and sometimes it means making hard decisions, hard decisions, so, and I believe that one was a hard decision, but it had to be made what was your conversation like with the Lord and when did you decide? Look, I really sorry, but I have to do this.

Speaker 1:

Like I said, the Lord spoke to me a while back. Like he spoke to me Like immediately. When I became aware of where I was in that confusion, it became very clear to me that, okay, I am not ready to be in any, I need to be alone. Okay, but I'm someone who doesn't like to be alone, I don't, so I really don't. Well, I didn't, didn't like to be alone.

Speaker 1:

So the Lord spoke to me, has been speaking to me and, as someone who prays about literally everything, I would go back to him and pray about like how I'm feeling and I'm like how man like this feels right. This literally feels like the kind of relationship that I've always been praying for. Like this feels like the kind of person that I've been wanting to be with Um, and if people know him, they know he's like an amazing person. So I was just like this feels right man, like what is it? And then I'd go back and pray and I'd have that it's not for you. Then I'd be like go back and I was alone. Really, I'm someone who talks to my mom about everything, talks to my sisters about everything. This specific thing, it was literally just between me and God. Sure, and somehow God literally did make all things beautiful, because I don't think people would even tell about like the conversations or like the conflict that I was having. Sure, um, and then between me and him, we would have challenges in terms of, like staying together right, because he's also like a christian. Um, we would have like so, but we'd mask it like, oh, man, we're gonna get married one day, like we're gonna get married one day. So, you know, like god knows our hearts, we know we'd like to say that god knows our heart, like we're all gonna get married. Come on, and then, um, but literally everything was just like rejecting everything was just like rejecting um, and so sorry, man, that I'm exposing our relationship like this, but it is going to help someone, I believe, um, and then when, until all I found came to be, yes, it wasn't, until all I found, then it was beyond sunday. Yes, no, actually it didn't have a name. Didn't have a name because it was just like a fast yeah.

Speaker 1:

And then I then told the, the person that, um, this is something that I need to do, it's very supportive, and I started, and I started inviting people and then to join the whatsapp group and literally like 200 people joined in two days and I thought that like 10 people would come and we'd go like upstairs by the clubhouse and we just like pray home, cell kind of thing. And then now I started panicking. I'm like I need a venue, like I need to host these people, because I said we're gonna gather every week. Then Sibu opened up her offices and things just like started opening like literally. When I said, yes, things just started flowing and happening.

Speaker 1:

And then I was just like, okay, some things I do need to let go of, right. And now, in as much as I don't think I would have let go if it was just me and me alone and not God and the Holy Spirit and the conviction absolutely I don't think so. I trust me. So at that time it became difficult, like pretending. It became difficult, like pretending, nah, it became difficult, like really difficult. It became uncomfortable. God was like you can't do this to my son now, like it changed from that. It changed from only about you, that's good.

Speaker 1:

It changed from praising Nah, it was like you can't do this to my son now, like you have to let him go. You can't. You, you know what you need to do, but right now, what you're doing, it ain't fair. It is not fair. I went home and I told my mom. I was just like so this is what I've been going through for the past two years and my mom was like, okay, I thought that I was gonna ask my mom, like what must I do? But I told her what I'm going to do and I had to go back home and tell the person that this is what needs to happen now. Bear in mind, you're breaking something that's good, you're not breaking something that's. And I had to go back home and tell the person that this is what needs to happen Now. Bear in mind, you're breaking something that's good. You're not breaking something that's that's throwing apart.

Speaker 1:

No, and so now the cost of the calling sometimes is confusing to others and hurting to other people, but also sometimes I feel like you need to be aware, in order for you to not be hurtful to other people, listen to the voice of God and just obey, like whatever it is like. Just obey, because if I obeyed at the beginning, in the beginning, maybe things would have like I don't know, but I somehow still feel like it had to happen the way it happened. But yeah, so that that decision was very hard, um, but God was speaking all the time, all the time. And now I don't want to lie to you. Ever since I made that decision, I'm heavy, so I know who I am. I know who I am, I know what I want. Everything is just so clear. It is just so clear. People even notice it.

Speaker 2:

What are nuggets for someone who is struggling to be obedient? Everything is just so clear, like it is just so clear People even notice it. What are nuggets for someone who is struggling to be obedient, especially with something they love so much? Because I think that's what I'm gathering. Sometimes it doesn't have to be terrible for you to release. Let go move out of a place. Sometimes it's Lord, I love it, but I love you more.

Speaker 1:

What are your nuggets for someone who I saw something, yes, two days ago it's a podcast, I think and the guy was saying imagine if God gave you something so great and then takes it away. Imagine the better that is going to. Something like that. He said something like that like God giving you something that you thought you wanted and it was great, and then it goes away and then he brings you something greater, like that hope, and that I don't know like it makes sense. Yeah, but like, basically it's. It's very difficult to say, okay, shop, I am going to let go and I am going to trust in what you're doing. But I think, honestly, it is trusting and letting go like it's honestly having that hot posture to say I don't want to let go, but I'm going to trust you and actually like let go. It's difficult really, I don't want to lie to you, it's hard. But as soon as you actually understand the magnitude and the greatness of trusting and letting go, you want to let go all the time. Whenever you get that thing, like wow, this year, this past few months, have been the best months of my life in terms of my walk with God, because whenever something like I want it, but I know that something is like it's not it. I'm like I bet even the things that you have you have a that something is like it's not it. I'm like I bet Even the things that you have you have a hold on. Like whatever it is Me, one thing about me that God has challenged me in it's actually like relationships and because I love love, I love love.

Speaker 1:

Like I love love. I've always wanted to get married. I've always wanted to know one person and we like have our kids and like I just that part, I just wanted it to be done, dusted, yeah. So that's why, like, I feel like God has challenged me mostly there and then it challenged. It challenges like everything that follows in my life.

Speaker 1:

So for me, it's just it has to be with relationships, because I'm very like I discern so much. I'm like what's happening until this one. But anyway, like I noticed I was like yo, god, you are so good. Yeah, like, imagine if you held on to that job and you're like this is good. Like, but it's hurting you, but it was good, god is gonna give you something greater, sure, like, imagine if you held on to a salon and it didn't work out and you're like, but this is the best that I can give, and god is like girl you don't know you don't know, you don't know what the best is Like, if you have that conviction, or if you have that thing of saying let go, trust me, something great is coming.

Speaker 2:

Oh, trust it, like if you believe, trust it, I would also say to those listening and watching that sometimes you also need to trust God enough that, even if he doesn't present anything else but himself, he is still greater than that thing that you desire and love so much. And I think that is the call of obedience and that is the cost of the cross. That, in all you're getting Christ is the price. In all your obedience. It's first the Lord, because if we treat our obedience like a trade exchange, I think we will miss the heart of God. You will. I think our obedience is for his heart and everything else is a reward. Yes, should he allow to release that? Yes, but there is a yielding that we have to or a decision that we have to come to a reckoning. That you know, lord, because of how much I love you, you are the price. Oh, you're right. And when he's the prize, everything else is just the cherry on top yo, you're right, that was my prayer last night.

Speaker 1:

I was my friend. I was just like, honestly, right now the main goal is just you. Everything else will follow. Right now I'm in a position where I'm like I don't want to go to you and ask for things all the time, but I just want to know your heart, because I just realized that the minute I actually knew god's heart, I just knew he is and I just trusted in everything that he's doing. Like you do not worry. When you know God's heart, when you know his character, even when bad things happen, you're like okay.

Speaker 2:

You'll come out of it and he's still there for you and with you.

Speaker 1:

You just know that like okay, and I don't want to say bad things Our pastor made an example to say if my kid wants a car right now and he's 11, I do want to give him that. I do want to buy him a car, Like I do, but right now it's a no because it's not the time. Yeah, and then like but at the end of the day they still love you. Yeah, Right, and they know still get me toys and whatever.

Speaker 1:

So just got like knowing god's heart is the goal, it's the prize, like god is just spend time with him, know him, know his character. You won't be moved by nothing, nothing. Know the bible, because then you understand his character absolutely and you're like my god came through for whoever like. Oh, you're chilled, my love chill, you are sorted. You're chilled, my love Chilled, you are sorted, you're sorted. No, it's hard. Thank you so much for sharing your testimony.

Speaker 2:

I think sometimes, like I said, it's one thing and you're living your life. I think more than anything, your life, and it doesn't end now, right. I think more than anything when people see you and maybe watch you the way I've been watching you and watching what God is doing in you and through you. It's a story that is just beginning.

Speaker 2:

And I'm so proud of you for choosing to return back to him and making the decisions that you need to make in order for him to fully operate in you and through you without the hindrances, because, whether we like it or not, those things can become stumbling blocks, because people also want to see a reflection of him. So, if anything, there is a cost to the cross. There always will be, and when you say yes to him, there is an after this, and I'm hoping that you're willing to pay the price. Sometimes it means leaving certain spaces, removing yourself, not because those people are wrong, but just because you have been called to another place. Yeah, so, thank you so much for watching. Share your comments down below. If you are listening on spotify and apple, don't forget to leave your review and leave a comment as well. Praise, thank you. Thank you so much for taking your time, um, to join us and to be with us thank you.

Speaker 1:

This is so great.

Speaker 2:

Thank you, and of course, we have a a little something.

Speaker 1:

Oh wow, true, just something for in the way thank you so much thank you so much. Thank you mama.